Why coaching works for perfectionists (self-coaching too!)
Self-coaching can be just as useful as hiring a coach. I could be losing potential clients by sharing this with you… but it’s just too valuable to gate keep. I believe in the power of coaching and want more people to experience it’s benefits. Whether you learn to coach yourself, or hire a coach, perfectionists are a group that specifically benefit from coaching.
Most people turn to coaching when they are stuck. Stuck not taking action, stuck in the same cycles, stuck second guessing every decision you make. When you are operating from a perfectionist mindset your decisions lack intention. Don’t get me wrong, you have good intentions, but when you don’t understand how perfectionism is influencing everything you do, you can’t be intentional - no matter how hard you try.
Coaching invites you to leave your comfort zone. It puts fear and uncertainty out in the open and challenges you to move forward, despite it. Coaching acknowledges that those hard feelings are part of the journey and allows you to still make progress. In coaching dismissing emotions isn’t an option, avoiding them doesn’t help and learning to bring them along for the ride is the whole point.
You’re into personal development, that’s likely why you’re here. I want to invite you to lean into coaching, make it part of your world, learn how to coach yourself. The more comfortable you can get with leaving your comfort zone, the faster you accelerate away from perfectionism.
Coaching is, ironically, perfect for perfectionists.
Coaching is perfect for perfectionists
Limit overthinking + get out of your own head: coaching in person (or self-coaching writing in a journal) cuts through the overthinking. You can move past the repetitive thought spirals and more clearly see what’s really happening. If you are a verbal processor, coaching is a safe space where you can externalize all the thoughts in your mind, and make sense of them. If you are looking for a self-coaching tip, you don’t need to hire a coach to verbally process, record a voice note!
Feeling behind + needing a reframe: the classic experience of perfectionists is feeling behind (+ not good enough). Often what’s most helpful is a reframe, because negativity bias is a real struggle. Being able to objectively look at your experience, give yourself the compassion you deserve and move forward with motivation are exactly what coaching provides. This free journaling cheat sheet will guide you towards helpful prompts to reframe your experience.
Advice + DIY isn’t working: coaching has a proven structure that works for perfectionists. If you are trying to implement advice by osmosis and exposure, it’s not going to work. DIY can only go so far and then you will need support implementing (support can be you, just with a better strategy). The biggest challenge for perfectionists is making the advice work for them. Generic advice can’t be copy-pasted into your life seamlessly, and trying this will lead to more failure. Going through the coaching process is how you combine your knowledge, wisdom + reality. Again, that journaling cheat sheet could be really useful if you are unsure how to begin self-coaching.
The big question: Hiring a coach or self-coaching?
Hiring a coach (hello, hello!) is a great option for anyone who wants external accountability. It’s also a catalyst to your journey. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it alone, but it does mean you get there faster with some help. If you are unsure of your blindspots and keep spinning out (or losing motivation), hiring a coach can help you feel less stuck. Sometimes you can’t make the time or space to prioritize this self-work alone, and the protected space 1:1 coaching provides is just what you need.
Self-coaching is a skill I teach all my clients, it’s essential to long-term success. But that doesn’t mean you can’t learn it yourself. Comb the resources, read the books, do the journaling exercises, invest your time into your mindset. Your goal is: learn what’s going on, gain self-awareness + find what works for you shift your mindset. If you want a book recommendation: Mindset, by Carol Dweck is a great place to start.
Stop letting perfectionism rule your life.
If you need external accountability, I’m here to help. As a Certified Life + Wellness Coach I can provide the space and expertise you need to shift your mindset. Through my coaching program you have access to perfectionism lessons, tools and resources that support you outside of sessions. During coaching sessions we tailor the tools to exactly what works for you and apply the mindsets to your exact situations. If you are tired of feeling alone in your struggle, want that catalyst and are ready to invest in your personal development, I invite you to check out my coaching offers. You can book a free consultation to see if we are a good fit, get all your questions answered and hear my take on what you need to do to be successful.
