Perfectionism almost stopped me: Here is what I did
This is a story of exactly how perfectionism stopped me, and what I did about it.
I love cycling, I tolerate cycling indoors… but that is my reality living in Canada and with cold temps + snow. This fall I started a training schedule, not with any fitness goals per se, but I thought that following a prescribed plan would help eliminate decision fatigue (what to do, when to do, vs. just hit next).
The plans had 4-5 workouts/week and I decided I wanted to aim for three. Surprisingly this is not where perfectionism showed up. Over the past 6 weeks, I’ve done about 3 rides/week and feel great about that (once upon a time though, that wouldn’t have been enough).
Where perfectionism showed up for me, was when I went to ride this week. The app congratulated me on being on week 6/6… and then showed me that after completing 3 workouts of week 1, I hadn’t completed any of the rest of the plan. This was technically true, but it was also true that I had been riding 3x per week, just like I planned.
If your brain is anything like mine, you know I immediately focussed on not completing the plan, and discounted the fact that I had done exactly what I set out to do. Perfectionism loves indulging in negativity bias.
Behind the scenes the reality was: the plan’s workouts are 60-90 mins long, and often in the past 6 weeks I didn’t have that amount of time to ride. My excuses are: upcoming meeting/appointment, only 45 mins before dinner, not feeling 100%... but in these instances, I would browse workouts outside of the plan, and just choose one that was shorter. The odd time, if I was feeling unwell I would just do my own thing + skip the official workout entirely.
And the interesting thing is, this reality is not perfectionistic at all. I didn’t shift to all or nothing thinking, I allowed myself to do the minimum version of the task + count it done. When external circumstances got in the way, I shifted and kept it do-able. But this week when I saw those incomplete workouts, my face flushed + my stomach felt uneasy. I was feeling shame.
Shame tells me that my perfectionistic mindset is taking over. And the last thing I wanted to do? Ride. I started trying to convince myself to do it with willpower, guilt + shame myself into submission, justifying my excuses of why I didn’t do this plan (they were actually good excuses too).
My experience? More resistance!!
I’m lucky because I know my perfectionist mindset well. So I was able to recognize very quickly what was happening, pause + understand why.
Here’s my takeaways:
The program’s tracking system was making it easy to focus on what I hadn’t done (it literally hid most of the workouts I did).
I was making the incomplete plan mean something about me, my dedication, my ability to follow through.
In order to do it the “right” way, I would need to restart at week 2, so I could complete all those incomplete workouts + cure my shame.
Step 3 sounds like so much work + so of course I was hesitant to put in a massive effort. What if I was hard on myself again… not worth it.
Resentful + resistant = inaction.
What did I do to get out of it?
I recognized that by justifying my (very good) excuses, I was legitimizing the problem.
I reframed by focusing on what I did do: riding 3x/week but also using the strategy of minimum version, tracking, counting smaller workouts as done.
And then when I thought about getting ready to ride? It was easier. I could lean into the momentum I created. I thought about the enjoyment I get from recognizing what I DID do + how today was another chance to track it! I remembered that I like cycling + how amazing it feels after.
It sounds cheesy writing it out for you, but it is just such a good example of how powerful this work is. To notice perfectionism creeping in + be able to stop it from taking over, in minutes. That’s a skill I’ll happily brag about (ha).
But in all seriousness, I get it. It’s so easy to be triggered by perfectionism. But it’s worth putting the work in now, so you can get to the place where stopping it can be easy too… that’s exactly what it looks like when you stop letting perfectionism rule your life.
I hope this story of mine helps you see that perfectionism shows up in the oddest of places sometimes, but that it can be easy to stop it. The work is soooo worth it. If you are curious about the work, you can check out my new coaching offer. I'm so excited that I'm now able to offer a sliding scale rate, so you can "pay what you can" + still get the coaching you need.
